


Death of a Bachelor

by Mewchan



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-23 23:12:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4895944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mewchan/pseuds/Mewchan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The death of a bachelor<br/>Seems so fitting for<br/>Happily ever after<br/>How could I ask for more?<br/>A lifetime of laughter<br/>At the expense of the death of a bachelor</p>
<p>Jamie's parents keep telling him that he should settle down and find himself a nice person to marry. Easier said than done it seems, unless he can fake it until he makes it. Well.. He's trying to be an actor for a reason isn't he? Hopefully Kevin keeps up his end.. and Jamie doesn't fall head over heels...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Death of a Bachelor

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Panic! At the Disco's new song 'Death of a Bachelor' and various Kevin/Jamie fanart especially by princesscallyie on tumblr. I'm absolutely trash for this trope so here we go.

"Yeah.. Yeah Mom I'll come visit sometime this weekend. Love you." A small beep sounded from Jamie's cellphone as he ended the call with his mother. He sighed, shoving his phone into his pocket and sitting down heavily on a park bench. He'd recently finished his shift for the day and his mother had called to check up on him. Of course with the call came the obvious parental questioning of social life and dating, and cause his mother had never much been one for tact, marriage. None of which he was all too ready for. Sure he had the crush on Garnet but that didn't really go anywhere.

And with good reason. Garnet was her own relationship, that was easy enough to understand. Gems were on a different plane than humans, and luckily she'd granted him some good advice. Don't rush into relationships, you have to know a person before you can love them, love at first sight doesn't exist, etc etc. And yet he knew sooner or later, he would be unable to dodge the conversation with his mother. But what would he even do? It's not like he could fake a relationship.

As soon as the thought crossed his mind, his eyes grew wide with inspiration. It would be crazy, and who would even be willing to put up with the idea? He bit his lip, deep in thought and decided just who he would try to go for. He had to find someone who would seem good on the outside, but would be someone who it would be understandable if it didn't work out. Someone to get his parents off his back for a few weeks. And who better than the man he met at that rave party that Sour Cream had hosted earlier that summer.

Kevin had been a sleazeball, that was certain, but the two did hit it off about ambitions and junk like that before he went to flirt with that long haired teen that ended up being Steven and Connie, much to his shock. And due to hitting it off, he had gotten the other's number. He pulled his phone back out and shot the other a quick text. "Hey Kevin, meet me at the docks. I have something I gotta ask you." He muttered as he typed in the message and hit send.

_**"There... Here goes nothing..."** _

\---------------------------------------------------

"Jamie, you're fucking nuts. You want me to PRETEND to date you? Why the hell would you want that?" The dark haired man asked incredulously of the blushing mailman. "Weren't you the one who was writing a love letter for one of the gems earlier this week? What happened with that?" Jamie looked away, sighing and shaking his head. That hadn't worked out obviously, he thought annoyed and inwardly rolled his eyes before he responded to the questions.

"Look it didn't work out. She shot me down. But I need to get my parents off my back. Please Kevin, it only has to be for a couple of weeks and then we can just stop the whole charade and 'break up' and act like nothing ever happened. Please?" Jamie looked back at the other and Kevin sighed, rubbing his temples.

"This is gonna turn around and bite you in the ass, I hope you know." He groaned, giving the tanned mailman a look and he sighed heavily. "You owe me." Jamie looked up surprised. He hadn't really expected to get this far, if he was perfectly honest, so he was rightfully slightly shell shocked. "You better sell this damn well. After all, you're the actor not me."

"Right! Yeah of course!" Jamie quickly stammered. "This'll be my toughest role yet, considering information spreads so quickly around here..." He muttered, and Kevin rolled his eyes. The dancer really had no idea why the hell he was going along with this. But goddamn there better be a good reason somewhere in his subconscious to go along with this. "... And we'd have to be certain about dates and stuff. My mom's a major stickler for details and junk- Are you listening?"

"Yeah yeah, dates and junk. When do I meet with your Mom?" Kevin prodded, stretching a bit as Jamie got out of his rambling train to answer the other's question. Honestly the guy really needed to reign it in sometimes, Kevin thought to himself.

"I'm going to be visiting her this weekend so, Saturday perhaps?" Jamie offered and Kevin nodded. "Dress semi-casual, semi-formal if you could. Make a good impression, since I have no clue how they'll react to me 'dating' a guy." He made a motion for air quotes around the word dating and Kevin gave him quite the incredulous 'What the hell are you thinking' look.

"If you didn't know how they'd react to you dating a guy, why did you ask me? You could've asked some girl couldn't you?" He badgered and Jamie groaned, pushing his hair up slightly as he replied.

"With whom? The only girls I could've asked are dating guys already. Sadie's with Lars.. I think.. and Jenny is with Buck! You're like the only option I could've gone with." Kevin shrugged and waved off Jamie's rebuttal.

_**"Whatever. Fine. But you seriously owe me, Jamie."** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel bad for this chapter being so short. I swear following chapters will be longer!


End file.
